Tuesday, 25 December 2012

T'was the Night Before Christmas.....

He wasn't smiling when he left in the ambulance...!
So, there I was last night, tiered after several hard hours of relentless training, enjoying a cup of coco before bedtime, when I hear a noise on the roof. Can you believe it...some idiot is trying to break into my house! My first reaction is to start twittering about what I'm going to do to this guy...but then I realize I don't have a twitter account, or a mobile phone...(damn, no chance to get a photo either!).

So now I've got the lights turned off, and I've concealed myself behind the door; this guy is obviously going to grab my T.V. and hard drive recorder...why else would he be here?

My god...the guys big! But thankfully not the "working out" kind of big...he's more the "Let's eat" type. Still, if I leap on him and perform a single finger jab to his L195 (liver under stress) point. I could bring him down and finish him off with a strangle-hold bunkai from any one of a number of kata I've been researching this past year on youtube.

So I grab him and hit him hard..."Ho!", he says.
I hit him again...twice!
"Ho...Ho!"
"Yeah!...who's laughing now ya big lug?"

The police were quite nice really....considering the circumstances. My explanation that he actually broke in to my place, and that he had obviously been on some kind of crime spree, given the sack of stuff he had with him at the time, wasn't altogether convincing as far as they were concerned. But what was I supposed to think? The guy came into my house uninvited, he was wearing a hoodie, combat boots, and had a huge buckle on his belt that could have been whipped off at any time and used like a deadly martial arts weapon?

My case comes up in January...I'm pleading self-defense...I'll let you know how I get on.